The Hero Complex: If you can't SAVE yourself...

The Hero Complex: If you can't SAVE yourself...

 At Haus of Heroes, we've always championed the everyday heroes. But even heroes need saving sometimes—starting with ourselves.

The Hero Complex is where one is called to action, sometimes in possession of the necessary skills  needed at the moment, and sometimes just being present for the other person is all that is required. When all is said and done and the rush of endorphins has passed, what happens then?  Is there anyone to Hero your life?  Who rushes in to save you and  the mess you left behind to go and help someone?  Is there any hero left in you, Hero?

The Hero Complex is a double-edged sword. The highs and lows of aiding others are undeniable, yet there's a hidden cost to constantly playing the saviour.  In my journey, I've seen the Hero Complex at work—both the admirable rush to help and the necessary pause to avoid hindering those better equipped for the crisis. It's not about the grand gestures in the spotlight, but the quiet presence that sometimes makes all the difference.

If you've ever traveled on a plane and sat through the dull drums of the cabin crew performing the safety demonstration. (Yes, it's a performance, as a former flight attendant I can attest to that)  what is the one rule that is hammered into your head each time you take a flight, regardless of which language you speak,  you are told to put your OWN mask on FIRST, before you help anyone else. Think about that for a minute- that's not just sound advice for any emergency on board a plane, but it's wisdom that NEEDS to be implemented into our own daily lives, especially those who suffer from the hero complex. We willingly drop everything we are doing to help someone else, irregardless of how that may affect us, it's an unexplainable reaction that just occurs for some people, not judging it good or bad,  it's calling to attention that not all instances require such dire action by the "hero". I'm drawing from my own experiences, and there were life changing moments that were decided upon without a moment of hesitation, because it felt like there was no other option, I did what needed to be done. Period.  But now as dust settles and the emergency is well behind me,I look back I can recall the many incidents that occurred during the emergency where I needed a Hero, someone to swoop in and save the day, as I had done for countless others in the past, but that didn't happen. What's worse is that I was spent and I had no "hero" left in me.

I refer to the last global emergency, the one that took out a whole world, and left us all reeling in confusion and doubts.  The pandemic that has shaped our current reality, was but a cake walk in my comparison to the hellish nightmare I was living during that time. There were no heroes left, and it felt like it wasn't just my hero that died, but most of the hero population had been pushed to their breaking points, some made it some didn't..   I picked up the broken pieces of my life, just as I had done before, but it was different this time,  I didn't have the desire to reach out and help someone else.  I couldn't, there was not enough "me" for me.  As the the healing took place and I was in living in an unrecognisable state of mind, I was starting over from scratch.   I needed to "hero" my own life, all those moments of helping others it was time I started to use some of that on myself,  "hero"ing my own life, meant that if I fucked it up, well I only had only myself to blame, but I decided to call bullshit on the "worst case scenario" and aim for the BEST case scenario. I needed a reminder of this point of view on many occasions as I would slip back into the "woe is me". I instinctively surrounded myself,  in every possible way that I could afford and could get my hands on, and embellished it with images of Wonder Woman ( almost embarrassingly so for someone my age) but I didn't care, it resonated with me and it gave me the daily boost I needed to face or even ignore people and agendas that went against what I needed, and that was time to recover.  I took the time and space needed to breathe, to put my own oxygen mask on first, before I helped anyone else.  I was in no hurry, the world could burn or not without me for a little while, I only have this life and there is no way that I will ever let anyone else tell me what I can or can't do. (That is a topic for another place and another time,)

Haus of Heroes was born from this epiphany. It's more than a brand; it's a sanctuary, a playground for imagination, and a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. Here, superheroes abound, each symbolizing strength, hope, and the power of self-salvation. Haus of Heroes became what it did for me and why I think it can be beneficial to any other hero/ person that is coming out of the darkness. It allows you to let PLAY back into our lives. For no other reason, not to claim any grand statement, but simply to be ok with being ok.    I found my creativity, among other aspects of my self, to be heightened and I'm so grateful of what it has brought into my life.  I produced these items for me, to enhance my being ok with being ok with where I am at the present moment. That doesn't mean that everyone "gets it" ..or more precisely that everyone needs to "get it".  Those that do, make themselves known  to me and get an opportunity to partake in what I'm creating.  How has my life been better with Haus of Heroes, you may ask.  I design some kick ass apparel that I'm so proud of, that I sometimes can't believe came out of my head!  When I do wear them out and I get complimented on it, it still takes me a minute to process and try not to sound like a doofus with a simple.. "thanks"  Rather I find the space to appreciate  the person who took a risk to call out to a complete stranger with a compliment, and reply to them in an appropriate manner that meets them at the same level of intention.

How can Haus of Heroes help you?  That is something that is individually up to you to decide, but if your looking to add some play back into your life, it is a conversation I will gladly engage in. Whatever it takes for you to remember to save yourself first, before you go out into your daily grind. Is it apparel that inspires you to stay true to your personal hero? Shoes or accessories that make you feel like you're superstar or running really fast?  Do you need to fill up your environment with iconic embellishments that inspire you to smile?  Wonder Woman is my jam, but it doesn't have to be yours, I know superheroes, and what makes up the core of who they are as a hero, what I don't know is how that pertains to your life.  I believe you can help me to navigate through your personal hero's iconology and create some awesomely fun items that have never been in our world before and will make a massive impact on not only your life, but the heroes who will find inspiration with those very same creations. 

Lastly, To quote the incomparable Rupaul, whose words have been a beacon to me, and inspired me to title this blog after your own sign off,  it's with a heartfelt thanks and a playful twist that I sign off.. If you can't SAVE yourself how in the hell are you gonna SAVE anybody else.

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